FACTS ......

Do you think you belong to any of these categories? I don’t know if I belong to any of these! But they do exist in almost all the BIG MNCs.

DNPTC list in mobile phones / phone with caller id.

It is DO-NOT-PICK-THE-CALL list. The category I am talking here is people who just call up and keep talking. I mean they keep talking even if they are properly informed that you have work or other important things to do. These folks always have all the time in the world to keep the phone numbers updated and call up intermittently. They might call you in the morning and again call you in the evening and ask the same question like, ‘how is your family?’ or ‘You still have five fingers in your right hand?’

DNRTM list in your outlook or in outlook rules

It is DO-NOT-REPLY-TO-MAIL group. These are the people who send the same old forwards and wearied news everyday to your inbox. They never forget any of the father-mother-human-women-valentine-etc days. If one unfortunately reply to any of such mail, they will continue with that mail chain until we say that we have to go / we got work / or boss around the corner

DNSTT

DO-NOT-SMILE-TO-THEM-GROUP. This group of people is often seen roaming around the corridor, office lobby and in the reception with coffee or with mobile on their hand. They check their cell phone at least two times in three minutes if they have a missed call or message, but in reality the only messages they get are from the ring tone advertisements and the calls from credit card advertisers. If, in any awkward moment you happen to exchange a smile with them, they will make a biography out of it. Be ready with a statement next time which sounds like “Are you angry with me? You ignored me when you saw me on Eat-Street” This group usually has only guys, but I know couple of females also which falls into this category! These folks always target elevators and walkways where people can be lured into easy conversations.

DNGL

DO-NOT-GIVE-LIFT-GROUP. Often good minded people fall pray for this group. If you own a vehicle, a two wheeler or a four wheeler and you happen to offer one person a lift one day! In the commute conversation, the hunter collects the information on your routine and makes sure the availability of your vehicle and timings. Next day on the same place at the same time, you will find the same person with a plastic smile all over his / her face with an extended hand. I am not against giving lift to people, but every day lift, that too some times, you get a message, “I will be 5 minutes late today, can you leave late or please let me know if you are leaving early today, I want to go to a movie, so have to leave early” kind of messages

KA

KEEP-AWAY group. These are jobless folks who go around the company website and keep track of everyone’s detail and demand treat for anything from a sneeze to completion of 1 month in a new cubicle. They call you up on your date of birth with a cheerful voice and wish you a happy birthday day. Around 3 O lock in the after noon, you can see the same folk leading a group of people to you cubicle with a 70 mm smile demanding a treat for birthday. If you are a guy, some kicks on your butt is a token gift together with a nice bill in the name of birthday treat. You should consider yourself lucky if they don’t come with a cheap cake for the birthday and paste it all over your face and dress. If you are a vegetarian and the cake is with eggs, your so called best day of the year, I mean birthday is ruined! It will remain as the smelliest day of the year.

KA-Version2

This KEEP-AWAY- version 2 are people we have to watch out, if there is some function going on in your office. It might be an open air event or a get together event. These folks can be sported with a nice looking, heavy camera which is carried around like an Olympic medal. They cruise around the crowd, making sure that the best faces are always captured for their personal use. It might not be long before the same snap will come out in the KA-V2 guy’s private orkut / picassa album. If it is a stage event, they join you in the crowd making sure that he makes the most intolerable comments and PJs. He might even run three or four times with one coin or a white hand key towards the stage to win a goodie price from the MC, but will always be late, cursing the crowd about not giving him space to run.


ORB

These are the onsite-return braggers. They are usually spotted with an I-pod Nano or an I-phone, with a face & smile which says, I am just from US/UK. They always complain about the weather, the sub standard AC in office, the substandard coffee provided by the company, about unavailability of MC-DY and Star-bucks in Indian office premises. The fake accent added to their broken English from 6 months to 1 year assignment in US is an added edge. Mostly, these are folks who where sent to create an excel sheet or to assemble a machine from package to desk. They talk like they where working in a NASA- initiated rocket launcher application code and series of escalations they faced in client place. The worst part of this group is their bragging about the places they visited, how smart they where to learn the foreign culture, ‘things’ they achieved in foreign land. Once they get a chance to start, they go on and on and on.

The groups are the unfortunate folks who are on bench or not required in any of the project, who has to kill time inside the office premises without almost anything to do. All we can do is pray that these folks get a VISA soon and packed uo to some far off countries