What’s the plan?

This thought has crossed my mind many a times. What I will be doing when I am 40?
As usual there is a vague idea of good kids, a happy wife, one vehicle, some where in south India ….a well settled family. Yearly planned holidays, to native places\, to check out dad and mom. But if I look closely I don’t have plan to achieve the same. But can we count any of the things mentioned above as a Dream? I don’t think so.
Am I waiting for some big bang to happen some day from where life looks all different? Like a partner arrives and life starts to glitter up. But does that really happen. What I feel is both me and who ever comes in, will accommodate each other in the life and strike a balance and move along. Again after the initial stir, life settles into a voyage without much of an aim. Yes there will be things to finish like daily routine stuff but about aims and dreams ….I don’t know.

How many of us live up to our dreams before giving away to the routine life requirements? How many of us go to space or get the best out of something?
How many of us are really successful. When saying successful I am not mentioning about people saying that you are successful but one feeling about themselves. I wouldn’t be one among them who says I am very successful. I am having a decent life but it was more of fortune and luck rather than my talent. I feel the same with many who say they are what they, just because of ‘them’

Will I be satisfied at the end of life? Will I have an interesting story of my life which will be eagerly listened by my grand kid? I doubt that ….But Can I do something about it, not much.
There is one part of me looking eager about every day, being positive about every lost opportunity, comforting me saying, everything happens for the best. There is another pessimistic guy saying WT…, this is how it will be and then a third one trying to realize how this whole thing is going to work.

Trying to be positive and looking at the other bigger problems men face, I think I can keep this thought in some corner of my mind and look forward…for a big bang of success or a big smile of happiness …..

I need one more!!!!

The queue in front of me looked kind of really long. I got up with my thoughts; yes, it is a long weekend having Veteran’s day on Monday. So there is a crowd everywhere. After a wait of 15 minutes, I reached the officer who decides which zone I will move in. I was traveling to Minneapolis to visit my cousin from Atlanta. I had taken the printout of my e -ticket. The print out was a little small, may be half size of an A4 page. The officer looked at my passport, then into my Ticket and asked me

AIRPORT-Officer: “Do you have a reading glass for this?” and smiled.
Me: Nope, I was in a hurry, so did not get time to enlarge the font.

He wrote the number 4, that means zone 4 and line 4. The queue crawled across slowly. My mind was floating around about the things I have to take out from my bag and put on the tray. Also I was thinking whether my sox are going to stink. In US you need to remove your shoes while passing through the Metal detector which is really annoying. More annoying when your sox stinks! :D

Any ways, I reached the end of the line and waited for the tray to assemble the things over it. After two minutes, there was no one to give me tray and two folks, one with two kids and another lady were waiting. I moved to the next line and mentioned to the family lady that we have tray on the next line. I went ahead and picked two trays, one for me and another for the other lady. The lady in front of her said

Lady-in-Front: I need two more.
Me: What?

I had the strangest of faces I can make but it took a moment for me to digest. She has mistaken me for the line in help boy. Man not in US!!!! It had happened to me so many times in India that people in Bangalore central come around and ask me
‘Can you get smaller size of this T shirt?’

If the person requesting a pretty looking lady, mostly I will help her out to find the right garment and then say to her that I don’t work here.:)
If the person is some guy, the answer comes straight away …But I never expected to have such an experience here in US.

So I took three trays and gave one to the lady in front, another to the lady with kids and one for me. I started taking out my digital cam and lap top and other stuff. The lady in the front went ahead and cleared the detector. Next was my chance and I went in.
My bag began to give the annoying beep-beep sound and I was asked to go near it. It was the bottle of drinking water I had left. Officer told me no drinking water in the cabin bag and threw it to the dust bin. I took my bag, belt, shoes (some how the sox was not stinking any more) and moved towards the next seat. I kept all the things inside my bag and was putting my shoes. I felt a nice fragrance around me and I looked up. The Lady-in-the-front is standing in front of me with her strangest-face.

Lady-in-Front: Oh I am really sorry, I really didn’t know!
Me: It’s alright; it happens :)
LIF: I was totally out of my mind and you might have felt that I was rude asking for another tray. I am terribly sorry
Me: it is alright ms, It has happened many times with me.
LIF: I’m ms T. Nice meeting you…
Me: I’m R, nice meeting you….
LIF: Where are you headed? Which flight?

Then the conversation went to the next coffee-bar. But I would say it was a good mistake!
How many times you have been into such situation where you are mistaken for someone else? Like a room boy? A domestic-help? A sales man in a mall? I don’t know if it is my looks or the way I dress up or my personality. Many a times this has happened and initially I got a little worried also. Thinking ‘Do I look like a servant?’

Then I started to realize the funny part of it. Serving the mistaken person and then letting them know that I was not the person they meant me to be. But this mistake, in US was really a lovely mistake which followed with a nice coffee chat with the gal!

I have to wait and see, next time I might be mistaken for a service boy in an elevator? :D

It is just the beginning

Me : Hello

Dad: Haan, What abt the thing I asked for?

Me : Err…dad ….what was it ?

Dad : A good looking snap of you!!! (With little irritation)

Me : That’s impossible, how it can be good looking with the part ‘ME’ on it ? (Sarcastic laugh)

Dad: Stop fooling around, when are you sending your snap?

Me: Dad, do you need all that so soon …I’m just turning 26 that too next year!!!

Dad: Who is dad here?

Me : You!!!

Dad: Who decides things?

Me : You ..But dad you said after 27 na ….

Dad: Yes, Even now, I say after 27, but I can keep looking rite?

Me: There is no point arguing you, I will send it soon.

Dad: make sure, no goggles, no new hair style and no pull over-coats. Ppl should know U r slim, u r dark, and ok?

Me: Dad, please ……give phone to Mom.

Mom : Hello …

Me: Mamma …Doesn’t dad has anything else to do these day? I’m not going to send anything (With lot of frustration)

Mom: It is ok da, I will find some snap of you in our PC, and don’t you worry.

Me: Mom, you are not getting my point.

Mom: ya ya , I do understand, don’t you worry, I will take care of it.

Me : Sigh sigh …why don’t you folks understand ?.......good night!!!!

I can’t believe this just happened with me. I had my stomach aching laughing at many movies where Madhavan and Surya and other good looking boyish heroes says no to marriage. I never thought this will happen not only in movies but in real life also ….

Nope, I am not putting me in place of Surya or madhavan but putting me in place of that character. Only two question why ME and why NOW ?

How and Why? Antzzzzzzz

Have you ever got time to look at an ANT colony? It is amazing to see how those tiny insects work together for uphill tasks. But how do they actually know what is each once role? If you see an ant group, once they find sugar on floor, they start carrying it back to their colony. But who decides which route is best? Who decides where the first ant will hand over (or head over) the sugar cube to the next one? Does every ant meets the queen Ant and they get the message like in a meeting or they communicate when they do that that teeny tiny thing with their antenna?
Or do they have telepathy? I had seen Ants fighting each other, I am not sure if they where of the same group or rival group but they fight. Do they have communal riots as we have? Do they fight for mates and food? If so how do they settle? Being the most intelligent creature in the earth (that’s what humans pertain to be) we struggle with each of this. But I think ants are better in their social aspects

From my limited knowledge,
Ants always communicate using some chemical called pheromones.
The queen Ant is a biggest and its job is to eat and lay eggs and make sure that next generation gets on.
Ants have a good communication structure where each knows what to do.
Ants fights when they are confronted with ants of other colony.
The one who losses the fight will be recruited to the colony for work.
All the ants don’t fight and all of them don’t lay eggs.
At the time of any alarm, ants secrete some kind of chemical which alerts the surrounding ants.
Ants have a memory to find out the trial which leads to food and get back on the same track next time. They also look for the probability of finding food in the same location.
Ants are good at engineering aspects also as the nest build by ant colonies using leaves are strong when considering the materials with which they build them.
Ant communication is more than where is food, A to B direction but how much left, how much more time required etc
Ants have emotion and they express it using gestures or by friction of one organ against other (Antenna)
An ant colony is made up of one or two queens, which spend their lives laying eggs, and thousands of worker ants which feed the ant queen and tend the young ant larvae.
The male ants only serve one purpose, to mate with future queen ants and do not live very long.
SLAVE MAKER ants raid and chase off or kill guards of other species. They then carry off the larvae and pupae. In some species the slaves do all the work. Their captors would starve to death without their slaves. One species depends on its slaves
Ants modify their environment. They regulate the temperature and humidity within their nests. They control airflow through their nests. They build mounds. They clear pathways.
Ants are vicious, merciless survival machines. They breed special castes of large, powerful soldiers. Along with soldiers, worker will fight for the survival of the colony, not giving a though for personal safety or survival. Some ants even use chemical propaganda in warfare. When ants fight, there is no surrender, no mercy, and no peace. They kill all the enemies and eat their babies. If it is necessary to the survival of the colony, ants will eat their own babies. Some ants steal the eggs and larvae of other species and raise them as slaves.

Ants might be another tiny organization but they have lived long enough in our planet to survive. Do we know how to survive?

Peice of thought

Realised after long

How mute a conversation could be

Not much to say or to listen

Yet so much to feel

Neither could digest the life

Truth remains the same

By far the ripples reach out

Yet to leave the pond

Rippling is here to stay

As for the stone or wind

Until another rock or wind, the pond remains still..........

What a 'Pause' can do in a conversation!!!!

I accidentally bumped into one of my school friends, that too in US after a long 15 year break. But the funniest part was we could recognize each other so easily. The conversation went like

Hey ‘R1’ !!!!!
arreee ‘R2’…. you in US ?

Both of us has names starting with R, so I will keep R1 for her and R2 for me.

R1: Hey you look the same after so many years. Did you stop eating after you left school?

I was lost in some thoughts as usual about things I have to catch up with after a three days holiday break. So I was caught off guard with a blank mind with no answers. But I some how came back.

Me: Ya, now I know who was eating all that I had saved. You look really …..(Thinking, what word to use…..after a long pause here) changed.

But man she had put on at least 20 kg in 15 years. I remember her as the slimmest and tallest girl in the group. Now if I look at her, she is hefty, looks more like an aunty but has the same old cute face. The long pause I gave in between the word was too much and she was little concerned.
We started the ritual of exchanging our Orkut/yahoo/ mail ids/ cell numbers, started asking what is X,Y,Z doing. Who all got married, who all got kids (Man time to forward this list to my Mom and dad. Most of the people from my batch is having 2 year old kids and I am fooling around here in US :)). As we both had a one hour time to catch up before our gates open for our flight, we chatted along. Then it came back to the pause between the word ‘you really …..changed’

Even if you know a person very well ,it is very difficult to say that they have put on a lot of weight. The ratio of this difficulty grows if the person is a gal; it grows even further if the gal was a cute looking slim gal.

R1: Hey R2, tell me, Am I really fat? Do you think I should start working out?

she started blaming all the things in the world which caused her current body frame.the list contained

1. This is all because of my current work schedule
2. The eating habits I have these days. I luv chocolate and puddings and also fired items.
3. No one is there to stop me from eating any of these.

It went on and on .....
I was partially lost in my line of thoughts. How do you really answer such a question? If I say its high time you do something about it, it will go down as a bad remark. But If I leave it too easy, she will end up in the next SUMO national federation camp. I tried my best to give a good shot. But I think I failed miserably

Me: Look R1, people put on weight due to various reasons, life style, food habits, by genes etc. All we can do is stick to a healthy diet and make sure we do some exercise.

R1: I do exercise; I walk from my parking lot to office, also parking lot to my house pushing my cart with lot of groceries. You know it is 5 minutes walk from my parking lot to office and most of the time I gasp for air by the time I reach my cubicle.

VOICE_IN_MY_MIND: Buddy, that’s because you have a body weight of 170 lbs (after coming to US,everything in LBS …..You know US culture ;)). That weight is making you gasp for air, not the five minutes walk.

Me: OK R1, can you see your toes without bending your back? This is one of the things guys usually do, I don’t now about gals.

She thought for a moment

R1: I haven’t checked, may be I can see it over the mirror. Why?

You know, when these 'Cute-looking-gals' ask this 'Innocent' but 'dumb' question, but you cannot help control your laughter. But I had to keep the grim face and answer in a serious tone.

VIMM: Went laughing and rolling on the ground. The best possible answer I can get for my question. 'To see your toes, look at a mirror'. Second thought, how people can maintain their level of dumbness even after graduating from one of the best engineering college and working for one of the best IT organization in US ?

Me: I mean R1, it depends on the mass you have and not about looking at your toes. So I would suggest, you take a look at some your old photos and look at the mirror and decide for yourself. Looks doesn’t matter much, but we can keep the way we are looking with a fit body, a firm head and nice smile.

R1: My friends said that I have gained weight, but no one told me that I look fat these days…..
I could see her face, close to a weep. I was afraid that the old guy sitting next to us will call 911 any moment looking at us, An Indian making another Indian gal cry in an airport. I was thinking WHY DID I PAUSE SO MUCH BEFORE THE WORD CHANGE?
Any way our gates opened and we didn’t had a chance to finish that conversation. We parted catching on with our daily life nuances.

I think it is very difficult to say some one has to work on their looks without hurting them.
I usually get a lot of comments on my frame being so lean. People ask me to start eating something at least, but I hardly care because I can’t do much about it.

My answer is a best example of a 'usual' answer people often get. This is one way people react. There are some, who takes up eating less or gymming which fades away with in two days to two weeks. Some say that they are born in a good family and that’s why they look plump. Some gave pet name Assets, showing their 32 inch belly (Especially guys).

Everyone has their own right to be what they want to be and how they want to look like. But provided we have the time, patience and mind, we should work out a little to keep us fit rather than for looks. My generation (aged from 23 to 28) might end up with a list of ailments much sooner than age 50 looking at the life style we follow, the things we eat and due to lack of exercise. So folks watch what you eat and start jogging today...... We never know...

we might end up like king khan with 6 pack or the actor with a great body and looks but some one needs to help him to keep his half opened mouth shut -JA ;)

Random Thoughts……continued……

There is no switch in our mind to switch from office work totally to personal life or wise versa. To say things I am not much experience on having a married life. But even then I have a personal life, taking care of lot of things.
After coming home, I feel like, ok now full stop to office thoughts and time for homely personal stuff. The moment you want to think about it, there goes the thought about unfinished status report, the mail which need follow up, the bug in the last day’s code, the web post which I need to answer …the list is endless. How do we strike a good balance on these? When my mom start talking about the food I take, my mind is some where wandering about the mail I compiled last day! But when I sit in front of my client on the status meeting, my mind goes about wondering what I will have for dinner tonight. Most of the time we live with it until an awkward moment where u are asked for something in the middle of the meeting where u were dreaming about some thing else ….and got like
‘Err …hmmm Good question; I will have to think about it’
Where the question was
‘Hey did you send that mail?’ How stupid rite?

We can hardly control the stream of thoughts when they rush in. Thoughts does not flow in with a specific intention or out come, they are just like shooting stars which started from no where and goes into something but on the way it takes time from lot of people wasting their time on stupid wishes which they think will happen just because they saw the shooting star!

When our mind is clear on what to do and what to expect, it is so easy and life seems so boring to live. The moment we get something out of ordinary, mind gets filled with excitement, fear, joy or sorrow until we get used to it and again falls into a routine which will end up in boredom soon. Do any of these things really make a sense?

All I could think is I am wasting my time on a stupid thought where I need to prepare for my meeting tomorrow with a bunch of documents, reports and have a lot to catch up with home, friends, answer some personal mails …..
Life is exciting what else we can say !